out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
