yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?