i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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