instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no