Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.