video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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