I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
