imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
