i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she told me i tasted like america
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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