Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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