how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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