I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
