U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
