do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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