At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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