Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
