The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
