My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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