We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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