I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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