I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
