Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Every concussion has its silver lining
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
