You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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