Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
