your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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