And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
