yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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