did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
