Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
