John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
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you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
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We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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