I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i came on her dog
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
