Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
