this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
