I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
