Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize