so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
