sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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