I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
