well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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