tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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