Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
