Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize