You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
