this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
