I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We're not piercing ourselves today.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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