I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
