listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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