Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
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You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
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I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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