hell yes lets make some ravioli
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
