I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
