Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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