STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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