Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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