your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
