I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
