So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
