did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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