we're blogging at a bar
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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