WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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