its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
