No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Never joke about your clitoris.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize