Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
