I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
