The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
