just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We need to get me chipped asap
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
