It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
