I'm lost and stupid without you.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
