I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
