apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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