Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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