I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
