Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize