We're facebook friends in real life
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
